I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
