I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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