I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
