Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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