my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
