You're so nebulous sometimes
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
