you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
