It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
In other news, I just burned my penis
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
soo... how was my night?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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