he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
