Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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