Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
