Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm sobbing to NWA
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
