well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
