Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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