I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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