i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
