JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
