your room smells of hookers.
And success
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
