hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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