I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
