I am in a vortex of obligation.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
