so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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