bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
