I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
