On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
