"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Randomize
