it was like eating out sand paper
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
