new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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