I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
