How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize