One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
