hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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