i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
