I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
