This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
