Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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