I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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