I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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