I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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