shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
