Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
