super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
