she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
