do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
