D3 body, D1 cock
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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