They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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