clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
