He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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