Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
As shirtless as possible
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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