Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
