Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
