dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
