Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
