i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Still dying that you shit outside
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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